Not fair.

My sister Natasha (Tye)and I both got puppies around the same time-Hudson (11months) and Winston (9months). They've "grown up" together. The thing is I went through phases of wanting to sell mine off and on for various reasons, Tye never has-she loved that dog ALOT. Today Winston got out (of her apt) and ran away, she looked for him for 3 hours before calling local shelters, she "found him" at one. Winston had been hit by a car and a family had dropped him off and gave the shelter as much money as they needed to try and save him. My sister got to the shelter and saw him and hyperventilated. There was no saving him-I won't go into details. If you've never owned a dog, you won't REALLY understand, but I just ask that you pray for her, she's a mess, I'm a mess, everyone that knew this sweet puppy is. It just sucks, I need to appreciate the fact that I even OWN a dog, they are such blessings.
We'll miss you Winston-aka "Bagel"

Doggie cookies

Right now I'm watching "Look Who's Talking" and reflecting (deeply) on the mass amount of money I spent today-and by mass I mean $215, that's alot, considering I don't typically spend much money on myself-I'm so ashamed!!! :o) (ok, maybe not really)-I did get some cute stuff though-although, the most rewarding purchase was "all natural" cookies for my dog-they had icing and everything (I almost ate one). This coming from someone who got a pretty bad spanking when they were younger (like 10) for hiding in her closet and eating milkbones. I told you I was strange. Enough about me.

God has been awesome in the prayer department-alot of answered prayers the past few days-God is so good and so beautiful.

I'm a huge fan of good quotes, here's one I "happened upon" recently:
"There is a deep peace that grows out of illness and loneliness and a sense of failure. God cannot get close when everything is delightful. He seems to need these darker hours, these empty-hearted hours, to mean the most to people."
~Frank C. Laubach

Being human (no fun sometimes)

So, I deleted my last blog-mainly b/c it was my own self-deceptive internal dialogue. I really haven't been seriously angry in a while-guess it's a part of being human and having red hair (darn). I tend to "read into things" too much sometimes, and don't like when my friends disappoint me. I should have kept it all b/w me and God b/c as usual He "handled" it beautifully on His own-so no worries.

Last night-hands down-was probably one of the most beautiful night's I have experienced in quite some time. I got home from dinner around 10:30, read something one of my friends wrote and decided I definitely needed to get outside and pray-I took my pup and off I went. I walked and ran for about an hour-it was unusually warm (for Jan.) w/a gentle breeze (I always say it's like God breathing), pretty stars and little wispy clouds-gorgeous-I was amazed. When I got back to my house, I knew I needed to go back outside again-so I did, and laid face up on the hood of my car and stared at the sky & thought about God & alot of other things-it even made me want to get in my car and drive to the mountains, pitch a tent (not that I own one) and just soak in the beauty of that night. I don't know why last night was so exceptionally pretty and peaceful-but I've only experienced a night like that once before, and I know God was all over it. Then, as usual-life had to "go on", (it always does)-so before one of my neighbors spotted me lying on top of my car at 12am-I reluctantly went back inside.
Anyway- (to sound like a teenager)I'm excited about tomorrow b/c I am going shopping at Urban Outfitters at Southpoint-it's not often I have an entire day to myself and I start school next week (wahhhhhh!!!!), but don't worry I am a BARGAIN shopper, I just bought 4 pairs of shoes at DSW for $80-you don't have to tell me-I rock.

Thanks for putting up w/me God.
I love you guys.

My constant One

Yesterday...
has come and gone
maybe you had a good day
maybe you didn't
but it's behind you
and
He's the same

Today...
is a gift
a chance to prove your love
for Him
Love Him
Love others
He's the same

Forever...
is a long time
His love is
unconditional
life is short
don't waste it
He's still the same

~RlR

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
~Hebrews 13:8

Scar Tissue

I'd first like to say what a GREAT time I had last nite watching Dakota Darling AND Silver (I thought Dakota Darling was the main band, but it was actually Silver-my bad!), anyway Silver was really good-the group of us that went ended up seeing some people we knew from church that were there to support the band and one of them was actually in the band-so that was neat, my friends and I liked "the whole thing" so much, we're going to go see them again and hunt down "new talent"(I'll keep you all posted), Silver's coming to The Brewery on Jan. 25, and Dakota Darling is coming to the Brewery on Jan. 26-so mark your calendars!

Here's Silver's site: http://www.myspace.com/silvermusiconline

On to the blog:

Breaking down and rebuilding.

Church service this morning was awesome, exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I'm going through right now. Transformation. God is "creating a good work" in me right now, and I trust He will be "faithful to complete it", but a lot of that depends on me, on my decisions, my obedience, and my attitudes. The closer I get to God, the more I begin to "hear" Him speak to me about certain things, there are areas in my life that He is focusing on, and they are REALLY hard to change, but change is happening. Throughout this "process" and although I deserve nothing-God gives me blessings and glimpses of His love for me-much appreciated God! It's basically come down to this: "Let go and LET God", I am only along for the "ride" God has for me-recently I understand nothing in regards to what He's doing, but God knows-I am so WILLING! I am willing to do whatever He wants me to, whenever He wants to do it, and however He wants to do it. I said to God-take whatever You need from my life that's not from You and whatever and whoever You place in my life-let me know WHY. A verse that hit home for me in church is one I've know for awhile, but never thought about in this context:

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~Phil 3:14

~Pastor Mike reiterated what I've read many times, but never saw the truth in before-"forgetting what is behind"; he said how it is vital to our spiritual growth to let go of our past-that was good for me b/c lately I've been drudging up some awful memories and making myself sad. I believe we will always have those memories, but we can't dwell on them, and for me-even talk about them anymore (I'm going to work on this). Always have that "goal" in sight-know that Jesus is moving you towards at all times-w/or w/out your "willingness".

Now onto the title-in my work I deal w/several nasty (as in big) scars on various clients (mostly from skin cancer, major surgeries, and accidents) that I have to manually break down, the scar begins to go through it's healing process and tissue begins to build up around it, but this scar tissue HAS to be broken down to promote proper healing and to prevent immobility and thickness around and in the scar itself. This is not a painless process-even in healing and rebuilding-it is necessary for "breaking" to occur-this reminds me of how Jesus "deals" w/us on a lot of levels, especially healing: the rebuilding, the breaking, the rebuilding, the breaking, the rebuilding-why must I learn everything the hard way?

My New Year's resolution:

To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love Him more
To love him more

You get my point.

Hola!

Hey guys! My roomie and I are going to "The Pour House" in downtown Raleigh tomorrow nite (sat), we are going to see a band I got a chance to watch last weekend called Dakota Darling-I really liked them, I don't know a ton about them, but they played a lot of good alternative covers (radiohead, U2, etc), and their original music sounded good too, the boys are Christians (according to their myspace profiles), which is even more awesome, the show starts at 8:00, call or text me if you are interested, you won't be disappointed! Be there or be square!



Here's a link to their myspace profile:

http://www.myspace.com/dakotadarlingmusic

Another of my passions:

This is the kind of dance that I did for 8 years-I miss it something awful!!! I danced w/this group in 2003 when I lived in Portland, OR-I couldn't find our video, but I marched w/a few of the boys in this group and performed in this arena (Dayton, OH)-after 2003 they (they're called Northern Lights) decided to move to an all male cast, and this is them in 2006(their last season) and it was an awesome show-the "things" they are spinning are flags, rifles, and sabres-I spun and can still spin all three (it's like riding a bike), just thought you guys would think this was neat-not too many people know about winterguard-but I think it is one of the best sports out there, and I am not just saying that, check them out!

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=4706724