...and the sky is grey. Lately I've been feeling down in the dumps, it's probably due to the fact that I just moved, school is overwhelming, work is exhausting, and all of the other "life stressors" are really hitting hard. Jesus remains my constant steadiness through it all, I've been going through a period where the main thing I've been "hearing" from God is WAIT. The whole wait thing currently applies to many aspects of my life and I seem to be settling into a comfortable obedience w/it (it's brilliant how God knows the very best ways to produce effective growth in our individual lives). Of course He's now moved on to something new for me (which I appreciate), and it is BEING STILL. Being still for any reason is hard enough this day in age, but to be still and listen to what He's trying to work out in us is even harder b/c He does things when He wants to (trust me-this is a good thing for most of us). I will say this; when I am having a major self-pity party, am ridiculously frustrated, sad, tired, lonely, mad, or whatever-getting into God's presence is the ONLY solution I have found that really works, it's hard to explain. The key to coming to God to receive this peace is this: you have to WAIT for as long as you and He needs to, you can’t just say, “ok God I have five minutes and I need some peace!” sorry doesn’t work like that. Now, you may be thinking well, what do I say? A piece of advice (myself included)-NOTHING, if it’s one thing we all need to learn it’s when to just keep our mouths SHUT, my favorite type of people and friends are the ones who say everything w/out speaking-it’s a great attribute, coming into God’s presence is no different, sometimes I just cry, sometimes I just lift my hands up to Him, whatever I feel led to do, I don’t have any guidelines. The place is also important, I like to be outside (where there are usually less distractions), but as it gets colder you just have to find a place that works for you, I’ve even used my closet ( I had a really nice big walk-in closet-but no more!), hey, do what you need to do-it will be worth it-to get that “peace that passes all understanding”-trust me.
Obedience-whew, learning that each day w/God-no easy task. I am thankful for all of these "tests" from God b/c-as Joyce Meyer says: We must all go through the "refiner's fire" (Malachi 3:2). I know I'm going through it right now, and to that I say-burn away God! All of my recent "troubles" are part of it I'm sure. I recently visited my parents church (out in the big town of Creedmoor), a traditional baptist church, the choir sang one of my favorite hymns (I'm a big fan of good old hymns), here's my favorite line:
"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul."
I love this line b/c it's a reminder to all who love Jesus, that no matter what your situation is-good or bad-it's going to be ok-God doesn't change-He loves us and comforts us, despite the fact that we definitely DON'T deserve it. Awesome.
When I feel like caving in
My heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
Nothing seems at all to add up
Can you hear me Lord?
My face is down upon the floor
It's then You whisper in my ear
Be still and Know I'm here
~Storyside B
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3 comments:
Im down cause I'm tired of seeing people get and get and get and they really don't deserve it while the rest of us struggle. Yeah I suffer from elderia, but I find myself at a loss for words when people don't want to take care of their own kids but I take care of mine 24/7 and this other person gets rewards I would want, or maybe I wouldn't want ?
Okay so IM rambling right,lol. Im glad we had lunch the other day it was alot of fun. Sorry Ava was such a handful at the table. I will email you a small list of books for Logan. Maybe A bible story book? I asked him what he learned at church with you and he says bible story and God loves me so,lol how adorable !
If you ever need to fuss or vent or cry, im here. Sometimes it's good to just cry !
i don't think any of us are down because of our particular situations. i think when we are down, we look to our surroundings for a reason. what, outside of me, could be causing this. what can i change to make it go away. but i don't think it works like this. in fact, i know it doesn't because this has never worked for me in the past. i think it's a collective thing. i think we're all going through these things at the same time. or different groups at different times. i'm not talking about those groups determined by geography or context. i'm talking about something bigger than this. soul groups or something, i don't quite understand it all. but it seems that we are all riding the same roller coaster and we all go down and up at the same times.
wait, do nothing, be still, listen. i am here, too. i am struggling, though. as the outside world looks on and says do something. do something. do anything! and if i could just get them off my back, everything would be better. but i know this is wrong. i know that i must be stiller than ever in the face of this criticism. i have to be stronger than ever and more confident in these things that i know. i have to trust that i am waiting for something, without knowing at all what this something is.
... though, i'll tell you. i didn't think it would take this long. *sigh*
i definitely needed this post. thanks.
peace & love, al.
I think one hit the nail on the head
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